Move Watch 2009

And so it begins...

Well, we've found a GREAT place in the community we've been wanting to live in forever. One-story home (practically impossible to find in a beach town)), plus a yard (unheard of in a beach town!), 4 bedrooms, quiet street, 24-hr gate guard, community pool, tennis courts, private beach access, blah blah blah.

All good, right? Not so fast. There's still the moving part. Did you know that moving is one of the five most stressful things that can happen to you in your lifetime. It ranks right up there with the death of a loved one, getting a divorce, being in debt and losing your job. Good times.

So I've been thinking a lot (two words, people--a lot) about the most stressful times of my own life. Moving has definitely been among them. For sure, my move across the country, from Sacramento to New Jersey had to have been somewhat stressful--but mostly I remember it as being quite exciting; I was a single woman at the time, no strings, the Big Apple at my feet. Moving back to the West Coast? Quite a different story; three winters later, that apple was looking kinda wormy--though I was ready for the change, moving was still a stressor--being married and starting a new position with my company only added to the joy. Top that with selling one house and buying another--well, that just about drove me over the edge.

What they don't mention in that list above are stressors like having a new baby--joyful, for sure. Stressful--absofuckinglutely. Or how about when your husband travels three weeks out of four and you're home alone with scary neighbors and their unleased pitbull on one side and screaming domestic abuser on the other? Uh, yea, stressful. Or what about the pharma job you had that paid great money but your boss was so awful and horrible to you that you eventually quit? Those may not be considered "life events" but they sure are to me.

Sorry if this blog is a bitchfest--I think maybe things are just all very stressful right now. Everyone around here is grumpy and we know we have MOVING to look forward to. It's not like when you have, say, Hawaii to look forward to, you know?

But when all is said and done, we will be in a different house, new for us, right by the beach, and that will be good. One stress down, only a few more to go.

Twitter Moms: The Influential Moms Network

And I'm in the highest tax bracket...

So I can't decide whether I want to buy myself a Louis Vuitton necklace or a Tiffany necklace. Both are very expensive...the Louis is about oh, $100,000--chump change. The Tiffany is much more reasonable, only say, $1500. You know, one of the very pretty Elsa Peretti ones, the Diamonds by the foot, the yard, the mile, something like that. Anyway, very affordable. Especially when we haven't paid our mortgage in oh, 3 or 4 months.

I think I have been looking at this economic downturn all wrong. Even though my credit cards are frozen (because, HA! you won't believe this but I'm in a debt-recession--oops!--I mean a debt-reduction program), and we are selling our home for 1/3 less its value in a short sale...hmmm, this is the time to buy! Buy a lot of stuff! What am I thinking! We should be taking all of our hard-earned money and just spending it on materialistic crap, right? Everyone tells me that you cannot buy Marc Jacobs or Dior any cheaper, girlfriend!

Because every store is advertising SALE! SALE! SALE!...those Prada shoes in the window are 20% off...cash is still KING, baby! Soooo, is it that or my kids' tuition? Hmmm...tough choice....how hard this all is! Kids, shoes, kids, shoes...okay---kids win. (Grrr.)

Call me bad...call me good...call me tempted...just don't call me rich.

Moving on...

Well, our house is now up for sale. I feel pretty good about this. The value has gone down over 30% in the last year, making our mortgage outrageous. I mean, it's the same it was, but considering the value of the home, well, hopefully you see. We, like many people, used our equity to do some improvements...new deck (since the old one was rotting in the salt air), new flooring, some painting, new water heater; you know, boring shit. The major stuff is yet to be done--repainting the entire house, recarpeting, new lighting, window treatment, etc...it would take thousands and thousands we just didn't have--even with the equity loan. However, with the loan we did get came a 2nd mortgage for not very much--very doable.

Fast forward a few years--house loses value, payments stay high. JP's business suffers greatly along w/ everyone else in America...well, you all get the pic. So here's the kicker--because we have the jumbo loan, Obama's housing plan won't help us. We go for a loan mod; the offer is utterly laughable. So, now we are doing a short sale. That's where you offer your home for a song and people who have either money to invest or are first time home buyers (who, BTW, get a tax credit--bully for them (no offense Sarah & Chris yay you guys!)--if they buy before this December) snap it up for FAR below even market value. And we walk away.

Meanwhile, we are looking in a lovely community close by where we live that has all the amenities of living right next to the ocean. However, this time we will lease. I want a one-story home with a yard--almost unheard of in the OC. But where we are looking? Tons of 'em. Pool, beach, clubhouse, parks. And all for WAY less than we are paying here with our ridiculous mortgage.

Now, my cute little worrywart parents want us to move inland, where it's cheaper. And they're right, it is. But for us, it's also about the quality of life. (Yes, we realize we can save over $5,000 a year, Dad.) I think they don't understand a few things, though. There's a certain allure to living in a beach community that I don't think they get...when you've lived within spitting distance of the ocean for 14 years and now have the opportunity to actually dip your foot in everyday, one must DIP. (One must SKINNYDIP if you know what I'm sayin.) There's also a sense of community in the area where we want to live--it's been around since the early 1970s and there's a real sense of history there. THAT's what we want to be a part of.

Staying here in this area is also close to our kid's school, our fave haunts, friends, etc. So we can make a move without disrupting their lives too much. All very important. And finally, even a move 1 or 2 miles inland means a temperature increase of as much as 10-15 degrees--sorry, but homey don't play that. I'm very happy with my 70-80 degree summers, thank you very much.

Now this HAS all been stressful--I'll give you that. It's been a great way to lose weight--the anxiety diet. And leaving a house where we've raised our two children with love and great memories will be hard...or will it? I wonder...given the difficulties of the past year, I think I'm ready to cut the cord, make the move, and say goodbye.

Now if only somebody else could be the one who has to do all the cleaning, packing and unpacking...

Mom Logic

Things have been busy lately...we've been clearing the house out of junk. Do you know how much junk one collects when one has lived in one's home for 14 years? Well, I'll tell you: a shitload.



It's gone something like this: Anya honey, no you don't need the turtle shirt we bought you when you were two from the Cayman Islands. No, you don't need the 200,000 stuffed animals stuck inside your closet (as I throw things away quickly as she runs away crying in protest). Yes, you can keep your Lemony Snicket books and English Roses books. No, you don't need the footsie jammies you wore when you were four with the cute holes in the toes.

You know, like that.

With Lukas, it's a little more tricky...he doesn't really understand that he doesn't need to keep ALL of the stuff he/we have collected over the years. Puzzles, chuck. Pieces of car sets, gone. He gets very upset and more than a little confused. Like about what, you ask? Well, let's see: his 4,000 Legos, 600 Transformers, and 75 Bakugans. He's quite distraught about parting with any of it--and that's just JP we're talking about here.

But it's all seeming to be coming together...I keep just tossing crap in bags and no seems to be noticing that their junk is missing. I'll keep doing that til someone catches me...and then, I'll just use Mom Logic...you know...."it was here just a minute ago."

You know...like that.

When the cat's away...

So I've been meaning to write a blog about how us moms have to cope with ALL kinds of crap when the husbands go out of town. What prompted this you ask? Hmmm...well, I think my poor kid sister bonking her head on the fireplace mantel and getting her second (or was it third, Les?) concussion--while her husband Bryce was out of town and of course she was home alone with baby Micah...and ended up having to call 911 and a friend to watch the baby; and $1,000 later at the hospital and going through the ordeal alone they said, yea, you have a concussion, lady--go home and don't lift anything heavy or stay home alone. Pft. Gee, thanks.

So JP travels a lot. A lot, a lot (note: two words, people, two words.) Here are just a few of the instances of FUN I've dealt with while he's been gone...and funnily enough, most happen AS HE'S PULLING AWAY FROM THE HOUSE:

1) the washing machine breaks mid-cycle while it's full of water and the repairman can't come for three days (do you know what that smells like?); also the gas stove pilot light went out (now, this would be a problem if I cooked, ha ha...no actually, I do once in awhile.)

2) the smoke alarm starts beeping on our cathedral ceiling (clearly not one I could reach or I'd just do it myself) and we have no handyman to call since JP is our handyman--I asked a neighbor who's always offering to help and when it came down to it, he claimed knee and back injuries--throwing shit at it does not work BTW;

3) the keyless entry stops working on the new Maxda CX-7, though it's totally worked for the full three months prior to JP going out of town...I try everything and nope, nothing; and of course, when I go to turn the car on, the alarm goes off--ear-splittingly loudly.

4) power outages are always fun, since we have a heavy aluminum garage door that I can't begin to budge and of course the car is in there; no way to go get our daughter Anya from school...

5) too numerous to mention instances of the kids getting sick on the exact day he leaves. WTF is up with that? So fun to be home alone with sick children...not to mention the fatigue.

6) weird stuff with the neighbors...fights, yelling, etc. Not w/ me, thank God, though if you read "Karma is a bitch" you'll know the problems we've had with one particularly skankious neighbor.

7) then there was the GIANT rat that flew by me while I was reading in the garden that one time. I mean, we're talking bigger than a cat. Rory at Western Exterminators is now on my speed dial.

8) and finally there is the ole garden/fountain/fish tank paraphernalia that I have no interest in and truthfully just kind of forget about during the week that he's gone...that's man's work around here. Til the fountain starts making sickly chugga chugga sounds, and the fish start looking oddly peaked...and so I remember I'm supposed to do stuff and then oops--nothing works. My bad. (Hey, I just read in there.)

So when JP leaves on his next trip, what mice will be lurking while the cat's away? As soon as his car backs away, I'll let you know.

The Tough Love Project

Well, life has been busy round here so I've been quite neglectful...sorry! Anya had her 25th birthday--sorry, I mean her 10th. We had a few girls over for pool, pizza, and sleepover; they all seemed to have fun and I survived by drinking lots of wine. Seriously.

Anya is a handful these days. I'm not sure why--hormones, summer boredom, sibling rivalry, or just a combination of all three. All I get every fucking day is drama, tears, and "You're so mean!" She is so disrespectful, especially to me and we're having none of it. So...JP and I have decided that there are a number of contributing factors: OC disease, a side effect of living here in South OC, by the beach, where most of her friend's parents make a whole lot more money than we do. They drive luxury cars (we drive a Maxda & a Toyota), they live in mini Mansions (we live in a 20 yr old home that we are thinking of dumping), we can't buy her new clothes at Nordie's, we don't vaca in Hawaii (at least not in a long time), and we don't have a Wii. So...

She's also heavily influenced by TV--she loves Disney channel shows like The Suite Life (ugh)and Hannah Montana,(cute) and Nick shows like iCarly (clever) and True Jackson (she speaks with marbles in her mouth and the writing is terrible). Add to that America's Next Top Model (questionable I know but I do love Miss Tyra and her messages), American Idol, well, the list goes on.

So JP and I are doing the Tough Love Project. We are making her EARN her TV by doing chores that she's supposed to be doing anyway but always worms her way out of. Horrible, Terrible Cinderella Things like unloading the dishwasher, cleaning her room, doing her summer reading, and washing her face and brushing her teeth. (I know, Mom, don't even go there with the bathwater story.) If she DOESN'T do these things, NO TV; and then only ONE hour. And only reading at bedtime...no more TV to fall asleep. 5th grade @ her school is going to be a bitch so she will need lots more sleep. She is not happy about this AT ALL.

Well, you can imagine how well this went over with her this evening...much tears and drama ensued. She's couldn't possibly clean her room without the TV on because it's scary in her room all by herself; she couldn't possibly wash face/brush teeth downstairs by herself without the TV on because (again), too scary; it goes on and on. We're not sure how TV got so bonded with her psyche, but dammit, we are breaking that bond.

Lukas just looks at her and rolls his eyes. He says go ahead, mama, turn off my TV. I'll just play with my Legos. Which of course just pisses her off even more. Sigh. Lukas looks at her and says what's the big deal?

What indeed, baby...what indeed.