Come on. Keep up.
Do men keep the volume up so high as a way of exerting their masculinity? Or is the remote control simply another power tool? (Is that why they sell them at Ace Hardware?) Or, are they simply afraid that they might miss the latest e*trade baby commercial?
Do men turn the volume up so high simply because the button is there?
We women look at this topic differently. Any woman out there will agree with me when I say that guys, if you're going to be in charge of the control, you need to take your job seriously and mute those damn commercials. We accept your psychological need to dominate the remote, but we need to get something in return.
Therefore I propose a deal: give us our daily bread and mute those annoying phone families and Peeping Tom mops. We'd actually just prefer it if you'd keep your thumb over the MUTE button like the trigger-happy cowboy we know you fantasized about becoming when you were ten. (We’ve seen the little red hat in the closet, baby. We know.)
Go ahead. Show off when you do it. Feel all manly about it. We'll even give you a polite golf clap if you'd like (while we roll our eyes and hold out our martini glass).
We appreciate your channel surfing as a substitute for temptation but you must do your part and Dear God, deliver us from that evil El Pollo Loco dude and those creditreport.com guys.
There's no "i" in teamwork, sweetie. See how easily we can work together on this?
I’ll give you an example…
My older sister and her husband C are dedicated TV watchers. She says that when her husband dies, they will have to pry that remote out of his cold, stiff hand.
So she actually bought him a dummy control. Yep. He couldn't go to sleep at night without that remote control in his hand, yet he would wake whenever she tried to slide it out of his vice-like grip to Oh my God turn it down or to watch her own show.
So she gave him his "binky" so to speak. Now she watches her shows at a reasonable volume and, fake control in hand, Mr. Sandman takes C off to sleep every night. Smile on his face, C fades into dreams of naked girls...and baseball...and Last Comic Standing...and...
Nope, not kidding.
So while you may laugh, they just celebrated their twentieth anniversary.
My advice? In order to stay off the therapist’s couch over this simple #ManCode issue, we girls may have to give in a little on this one. Let your man have the illusion of control. It’s not like you can’t watch your shows at some point later anyway, right?
Most likely, he still hasn’t figured out the DVR.
Besides, we’ve got a walk-in closet to conquer.
See that FOLLOW button over there? No, no not THERE. On the right, silly. Yes, there. Go clicky clicky. We'll be clicky friends. You should also follow me over on Facebook or on Twitter @RachelintheOC
6 comments:
Although I have determined that by your standards I am indeed the man in our relationship, my husband does like the stereo up much louder than I like it. So maybe that tips the balance back in my favor.
Wow, a fake remote? I need a moment to let that really sink in...
Volume might just be linked to masculinity. After all, the bars do go up on the graph as the volume is raised.
A fake remote? Really?
But then, my cell phone is my own personal busy book.
My husband came clean early in our marriage that any task I gave him he would fumble so I would never ask him to do it again. Yes he would rather be considered an oof than have to work. I came clean and told him that I would let him pretend to make decisions and have ideas as long as he deep down knew his nuts were in the freezer next to my vodka. Decades later it has worked fine.
Haven't we always just had an illusion of power?
The remote control binky goes down in history as hysterical!
lol that sounds like me..
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