MISTAKE NUMBER FOUR

Not a funny piece today. 

I wrote this for the website Lifarre. If you'd like to read more, click here for the full Elements of Fear series (under the Broken Pieces tab). Thanks for your time. 

MISTAKE NUMBER FOUR

College, 1983

I’m a sophomore, nineteen years old.

A nice enough guy from one of my journalism classes invites me to a frat party, I say yes. (Mistake #1: his turf).

I go with a girlfriend – she drives. (Mistake #2: always have your own transportation). I didn’t know him very well and it wasn’t an official date or anything. If you’ve been to college, you know how guys ask you out without actually asking you out? They invite you to a frat party. (Yea, it’s like a punchline.)

Girlfriend is a sorority sister, so she floats in on her pink fluff of air-kisses and vapor. With my writer’s eye, I observe the mating rituals and try to figure out how many beers it’s gonna take me to either fit in with this Ralph Lauren crowd or scope out who’s got the weed.

As I’m deciding that two beers is a good number (hey, I’m not driving), Bill shows up. I know this by the he-man grip he places on my arm. (Mistake #3: underestimating a dude based on size – no we’re not talking sex here, ya guttersnipes). He’s not a big guy, but he is lean and wiry. He wrestles for the school and has been asking me to watch his matches. I cheered in high school – I don’t do wrestling (have you ever smelled those places)? A dedicated girlfriend kinda has to watch her wrestler boyfriend’s matches. I wasn’t that, so I’d politely declined.

Bill was rather charming and a smooth talker. We chatted for an hour or two. He was friendly, he held my hand; all was fine, sweet. When I needed to use the bathroom, he escorted me through the crowd and told me, “Hey, use this one back here. No one knows about it. I used to live here so I know this house backwards and forwards.” Because I really, really had to pee, I let him lead me by the hand into a room where I thought the other bathroom was.

I had no reason NOT to believe him, right?

MISTAKE NUMBER FOUR

He locked the door so fast, I hardly saw it. As I was putting together in my mind that something wasn't right, he threw me down on the bed and pinned me with one knee. His face turned into something unrecognizable, like a monster you’d see in a movie... teeth baring, inhuman.

I wasn’t wearing sexy clothes that night. I didn’t do anything besides spend time with a guy who seemed, outwardly, like a decent guy from one of my classes. We hadn’t even kissed.

Yet here he was. Tearing at my clothes, hitting me, unzipping his pants. My heart was beating so loud, I could hear it in my mouth.

It didn’t happen, though. There’s a “happy” ending. Why? Because I fought. I kicked, I bit, I scratched, I screamed. Did I think it would make a difference? I don’t know, because I didn’t think. Not until later.

Not until after.

They say that once your heart rate goes above 200, your problem-solving abilities go out the window. You’re acting purely on instinct. Fight or flight kicks in.

I guess it was a combination of factors that ended his attempt: my reaction, people finally for god’s sake knocking on the door, and the fact that I drew blood when I scratched his face. It’s almost like that sobered him up, snapped him out of it. Made him human again.

He told me he would deny everything, of course.

Facing him in class that Monday was one of the toughest things I’ve ever done. And yes, he told me I’d been “asking for it.”

Back in the early-80s, the term “date-rape” didn’t exist. I didn’t know that’s what had happened to me. Conventional wisdom was that I had nothing to report but fighting off some jerk. A ripped top, a few bruises. 

Attitudes toward rape and attempted rape have come a long way, baby. But we still have far to go.

I didn’t realize 'till later, when I became a mother myself, the impact of my experience...

BLOG TOUR DE TROOPS Day 3!

It’s Veteran’s Day.

My tween daughter didn’t understand why we saw a man dressed in a kilt on Friday, covered in metals, as we walked into a CVS. A group of teens snickered and laughed at such an outrageous sight.

I scowled at them before I turned and gave him a silent ‘thank you.’ He simply nodded as he continued his way into the store.

Friday was 11/11/11, known pretty much everywhere in the world as Remembrance Day and here in America as Veteran’s Day.

The USA fiddled around with the date for awhile, making it the fourth Monday in October, which just confused everyone. As of the mid-70s President Gerald Ford signed into law that Veterans Day continue to be observed on November 11, regardless of what day of the week on which it falls. 

The restoration of the observance of Veterans Day to November 11 not only preserves the historical significance of the date, but helps focus attention on the important purpose of Veterans Day: A celebration to honor America's veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good (Source, VA.gov).

Our kids learn about Veteran’s Day in school, but I wonder sometimes if the message gets lost. Maybe because there’s no draft anymore. Maybe it’s because it’s so much more complicated to explain to them. 

I in no way take my freedom for granted. I’ve visited several countries (Israel, England, France, Spain, Switzerland, Canada and more) and have been grilled a few times for what’s on my passport or because of my traveling partner. Once, as I was leaving Spain, I was forced to strip down to my skivvies because my friend and seatmate had been to Greece. Um, what?

(Tip: saying “But I’m an American! I have rights!” does not go over well at Madrid airport when you’re standing in your admittedly kinda hot undies and they have all your luggage.)

Two Bloody Mary’s and an angry, delayed planeful of people later, all was good. At least I think it was. I kinda passed out.

Anyway, back to Blog Tour de Troops! Did you know that eBooks are the Number One care package item requested by U.S. troops? Leave a comment on this post and you’ll receive free My Indie Experience anthology eBook – AND for every comment, I’ll give a free eBook to a servicemember on active duty OR any veteran! (Either designate someone specific in your comment or the IBC will donate for you.)

(During Memorial Day weekend, our Blog Tour de Troops authors gave 10,000 books to U.S. troops. This Veterans Day, with your help – just by leaving a comment — we can give even more!)

Come Back Tomorrow For More Fun

Please check back tomorrow at elenagray’s blog to continue touring.

The Blog Tour de Troops blog hop started Friday, Veterans Day, and lasts through Monday, Nov. 14. Between now and then, you have a chance to collect 50 — yes, 50 – FREE eBooks. If you lose your way, stop by the IBC blog, where you’ll find a list with URLs of all 50 blogs. 


So let’s do this thingy…

I’m proud to offer you our amazing new anthology My Indie Experience, which includes searingly honest essays about the self-publishing process from Indie Book Collective founders (Carolyn McCray, Amber Scott, and I) as well as many members of our amazing volunteer staff: Miranda Wyatt-Mills, Karen Johnson, Augusto Pinaud, Kelli McCracken, Elena Gray, Patricia McCallum, George Sirois,  and Jackie Chanel. We share the terrific, the not so great, and hair-tearingly ugly. You want honest? We have honest.

Leave a comment below WITH YOUR EMAIL and any kind of travel story (though if you’re a guy with hot undies, TMI) or better yet, why you’re grateful for your freedoms, no matter where you live in this world.

Be sure to go visit @thebookishsnob next! Her blog and book Blood Oath are terrific; and remember, every blog comment is an entry to winning a Kindle! Belinda rocks, man. Go check her out. 

We're also raising money toward giving Kindles for our troops. If you'd like to donate money toward those Kindles for our soldiers, simply use Paypal and ibcprograms@gmail.com as the address to send money to. Please note on your payment that it's a Troops donation. Seriously, even a buck is fine.

To clarify, you don’t need a Kindle or eReader to read eBooks. A smartphone, tablet, or computer will do. Download any of the free eBooks apps available for your device (Stanza is back) and you are good to go, baby.

Thanks for hangin’ with me.

 *Note: we are in final edits of this amazing anthology. I can send you the PDF now or you can let me know if you'd like to wait a week or two for the Smashwords coupon code. Either way, you'll absolutely receive the book in its full finished format. 

**Also, I've lowered the price of A WALK IN THE SNARK from $2.99 to 99cents this week for #blogtourdetroops. #1 bestseller over six times on the Kindle Motherhood list. Go. It's got a good beat. You can dance to it. 

INTERVIEW with POET JESS KRISTIE

I'm beyond thrilled to present talented poet Jess Kristie to you today. We've known each other on Twitter and Facebook for over a year now and have supported each other all along. (Even though she tweets with hearts and flowers, I still adore her). 

Her book of poetry about relationships, love, and sex touches my heart like no other. I hope you'll agree. 

Learn more about her here. Thanks so much, Jess for your time and all the fun!

Jessica Kristie Interview for Rachel Thompson

1) Please tell us how you came to publish your beautiful book of poetry Dreaming In Darkness and a bit about your background as a writer. 

Around this time last year I was approached by a small publisher as I was getting my manuscript together.  Although their submissions were closed, I was given a special invite to submit.  I worked with an amazing editor and we got my book out there on eBook.  They struggled to get my book out on paperback so I found a new publisher just recently who has obtained the rights and re-released my eBook with a new look and five new pieces as well as finally releasing the book on paperback.  I am really happy with how it looks and proud of this collection of work.

I have been writing poetry since I was ten but have only taken writing up as a career the last several years.  In addition, I focus on graphic design, business, marketing, editing and project management.  I just recently finished a wonderful project: Inspiration Speaks, through ArtPlatform.org.  You can order your copy at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.  Purchases benefit ColaLife.org.

2) You write with such heartbreaking beauty about love and relationships. What inspires you?

Thank you. So much is inspiring that it’s hard to call it one thing.  I have learned over the years to be inspired from everything and find beautiful things even in something that others would find painful.  Life is a learning experience and I try to learn from not only mine, but other’s experiences too.

3) Are your pieces based on real life or do you create characters in your head, much like fiction? On that note, have you considered (or do you) writing fiction? 

My writing pulls from my own experiences, and from those around me, and I would even consider some of it true-life-inspired fiction. My second book is fiction, but as many writers can say, it is based on a lot of true life facts and people. I also have a fiction novel in the works and I honestly plan on finishing that soon. I keep getting pulled away by other projects, so it seems to keep being put to the wayside.

4) Do you have a specific writing process? 

Honestly, not really. I feel it, then I write it. I don’t need to have a certain mood set.  As far as the work goes, I make sure to let it sit for at least 24 hours before posting to my blog or anywhere else. I like to look at it with fresh eyes. I also believe in knowing when to edit and knowing when to let things be. Only you can determine which is right for each piece you author.  Having others take a look, or edit, is also a valuable tool for becoming a successful writer. We are not always the best judge of our own work.

5) I recently started a fun Twitter meme (aka theme) called #TellMeTuesday where people can share secrets 'their mothers would be horrified to know.' (Sorry, Mom.) Anything you'd like to share with our readers?

I have a thing for boobs. #TellMeTuesday

I once had a nice make-out session with my best friend’s boyfriend. #TellMeTuesday

I once had a nice make-out session with my boyfriend’s best friend. #TellMeTuesday

Me + Patron = bar-tops, singing, and dollar bills. #TellMeTuesday

6) Let's do some Proust questions: 

Favorite quality in a man? 

The ability to communicate honestly.

7) Favorite quality in a woman? 

Being genuine.

8) Your idea of misery? 

Loneliness.

9) Happiness?

Loving yourself.

10) Favorite food?

Pizza.

11) And we must know, your favorite curse word? 

Fucktard.

Love it! 

Wonderful. Thanks so much for sharing these intimate moments of your life, Jess. 

Here is your gorgeous book trailer. One of the best I’ve seen. I’m in love with the music as well as your beautiful book.

Check it out, folks. Then go buy her amazing book, Dreaming In Darkness. Her second book, Threads of Life, will be released March, 2012. I, for one, can't wait.

As a special added bonus, Jess is offering a a signed eBook AND paperback to two commenters who play with us in our #TellMeTuesday game on Twitter or Facebook. 

Simply join in the fun by leaving a comment below with your own juicy secret you'd never tell your mother with the #TellMeTuesday hashtag OR play tomorrow on Twitter or FB. Any platform qualifies. Be sure to give us your Twitter handle, FB name, and/or email so we can contact you if you've won!

We'll be watching.  

Follow Jess on Twitter, Facebook or her blog.